Funny jokes for you.....my lovalble readers

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load
Of seniors down a highway
When he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady.
She offers him a handful of peanuts,

Which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder

Again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.

She repeats this gesture about five more times.

When she is about to hand him another batch again

He asks the little old lady,

"why don`t you eat the peanuts yourself?".

"We can't chew them because we've no teeth", she replied.

The puzzled driver asks,

"Why do you buy them then?"

The old lady replied,

"We just love the chocolate around them."

INTERESTING ASPECTS OF WOMAN

• A good woman inspires a man

• A brilliant woman interest him

• A beautiful woman fascinates him

• A sympathetic woman gets him

Things you would NOT want to see happen at the ATM

• You go to get a balance inquiry, and instead of printing out a receipt the screen says: "Not worth wasting paper", and ejects your card. You try to get a balance inquiry, and the screen says: "Account not found." and keeps your card.

• You insert your card, and try to get some cash, and the ATM laughs and spits out your shredded card.

• You withdraw some money to pay some bills, count it, and the screen says: "What, you thought there was some EXTRA there? HA!", and ejects your card clear across the room.

• You think you've got $100 in your account and go to take out $50, and the screen says: "Not in this lifetime." and laughs as you bang on the machine, trying desperately to get your card back that the machine has taken.

• You go to the ATM, and there's a picture of you a-la-"Most Wanted" staring forlornly at the ATM camera with a caption that reads: "Wanted for trying to get water from a dry well."

True Love

Three men were drinking at a bar -- a doctor, an attorney
and a biker. As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said, "For
her birthday, I'm going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring.
This way, if she doesn't like the fur coat she will still love me
because she got a diamond ring."

As the attorney was drinking his martini he said, "For my wife's
birthday, I'm going to buy her a designer dress and a gold bracelet.
This way, if she doesn't like the dress she will still love me because
she got the gold bracelet."

As the biker was drinking his shots of whiskey he said, "I'm going to
buy my wife a T-shirt and a vibrator. This way, if she doesn't like
the T-shirt she can go fuck herself!"