Santa singh decided to write the MBA exam. He could understand every thing except for the LOGIC part. One day when he was reading, one of his non-sardar friends came home.
Friend: Santa singhji How is your MBA preparation?
Santa Singh: Every thing is fine, but I could not understand Logic.
Friend: Logic is very easy.
Santa singh: Can you give me an example, so that I can understand.
Friend: OK. Do you have fish pot in your house?
Santa: YES.
Friend: Logically, there will be water in it.
Santa: YES.
Friend: Logically, there will be fish in it.
Santa: YES.
Friend: Logically, someone will be feeding the fish.
Santa: YES.
Friend: I take a guess that your wife will be feeding the fish.
Santa: YES.
Friend: so, logically, you are married.
Santa: YES.
Friend: So, that means you are a heterosexual.
Santa singh was very glad and he understood logic. Next day he sees Banta singh and he was also preparing for MBA.
Santa: How is your MBA preparation?
Banta: Everything is fine except for the logic.
Santa: Oh, logic is easy.
Banta: Pleaseeee, give me an example.
Santa: Do you have a fish pot in your house?
Banta: NO, I don't.
Santa: saala!!! HOMO!!!
Monday, November 19, 2007
Sardars MBA preparation..LOGIC
MINDLESS THOUGHTS
Practice makes a person perfect – but nobody is perfect………
So why to practice????
- If its true that we are here to help others……
Then what exactly are others here for????
- Since light travels faster than sound…….
Similarly people appear bright till the time you hear them speak.
- Money is not everything
There is MasterCard and Visa.
- Love the neighbor…..
But don’t get caught.
- Behind every successful man there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man there are ‘two women’
- Every man should marry……
After all, happiness is not only thing in life.
- The wise never marry……
And those who marry may become otherwise.
- Love is photogenic……
It needs darkness to develop
- Your future depends on your dreams….
So go and sleep.
- Hard work never kills anybody…..
But why take risk????
- Work fascinates me…..
I can look at it for hours!!!
- A dress is a like barbed fence
It protects the premises without restricting the view
- The more you learn, the more you know
The more you know the more you forget
The more you forget the less you know
So why you learn???
VALUES OF GOOD LIFE
- More quantity, less quality
We write more, but learn less, plan, more, but accomplish less.
We have learned, to rush, but not to wait.
We have higher incomes, but lower morale.
We have higher incomes, but lower morale.
More food but less appeasement, more types of food, but less nutrition.
More acquaintances, but fewer friends.
More efforts, but less success.
We build better computers to hold more information
To produce more copies than ever, but have less communication
We have become long on quantity but short on quality
These are the times of fast foods & slow digestion
Tall men & short characters,
Steep profits & Shallow relationships
These are days of fancier incomes, but broken homes.
- It is a time there is much in the show window & very little in the stockroom.
Indeed, it is all very true! Even I did not believe it! However, it is the eternal truth!
Think about it…………………………
- Read, it again! It may not make a difference
However, we may end up living better!
INTERESTING ASPECTS OF WOMAN
- A good woman inspires a man
- A beautiful woman fascinates him
GOD IS ALWAYS WITH YOU
One night, I had a dream. I was walking along the beach with God and across the skies flashed scenes from my life. In each scene, I noticed two set of footprint in the sands, and to my surprise, I noticed that along the path of my life there was only one sets of footprint, and I noticed that it was the lowest and saddest time in my life. I asked God about it, “God you said once, I decided to follow you; you will walk with me all the way. However, I noticed that during the most troublesome time in my life, there was only one set of footprint. I do not understand why you left my side when I needed you most”. God said, “My precious child, I never left you during your time of trial. Where you see only one set of footprint, I was carrying you”.
RISKS
To laugh is to risk appearing fool;
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental;
To reach out for another is to risk involvement;
To expose your feeling is to risk exposing your true self;
To love is to risk not being loved in return;
To place your ideas, your dream before the crowd is to risk the loss;
To live is to risk dying;
To hope is to risk failure;
To try at all is to risk failure;
However, risk we must.
Because the greatest hazards to life is to risk nothing;
The man who risks nothing
Does nothing…have anything…is nothing…?
He may avoid suffering...but he simply cannot learn,
Feel, change, grow, love or live.
Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave.
He has forfeited freedom.
Only the person who risk can be called a free man.
Gifts you Should Possess
The Spark to Imagine
The Daring to Innovate
The Discipline to Plan
The Skill to do.
The will to Achieve.
The Commitment to be responsible
The Leadership to Motivate
The Courage to Decide
LIFE by Mother Theresa
Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is a sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is a adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.
By : Mother Theresa
Fast Life.
In era of fast life, every body wants to, over take others. The same concept applied to our driving also, specially the youngsters. They enjoy driving rashly, ignoring the traffic rules, which sometimes proves fatal. Here are few messages for those people who enjoy fast and rash driving.
• If you drive like hell, you will soon reach there.
• If is better to reach home late rather reaching heaven before time.
• If you do not wear helmets, you might become hell-mate.
• Rash driving may lead to crash bones & cash bills.
• There is no shortcut to hospital from here had better follow traffic rules.
• Driving fast as the ball was hitter by baseball bat will lead you to hospital bistre.
Things you would NOT want to see happen at the ATM
• You go to get a balance inquiry, and instead of printing out a receipt the screen says: "Not worth wasting paper", and ejects your card. You try to get a balance inquiry, and the screen says: "Account not found." and keeps your card.
• You insert your card, and try to get some cash, and the ATM laughs and spits out your shredded card.
• You withdraw some money to pay some bills, count it, and the screen says: "What, you thought there was some EXTRA there? HA!", and ejects your card clear across the room.
• You think you've got $100 in your account and go to take out $50, and the screen says: "Not in this lifetime." and laughs as you bang on the machine, trying desperately to get your card back that the machine has taken.
• You go to the ATM, and there's a picture of you a-la-"Most Wanted" staring forlornly at the ATM camera with a caption that reads: "Wanted for trying to get water from a dry well."
Approximately ten excuses for not doing homework:
• I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.
• I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook. I couldn't actually reach it.
• I have the proof, but there isn't room to write it in this margin.
• I was watching the World Series and got tied up trying to prove that it converged.
• I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy.
• I locked the paper in my trunk but a four-dimensional dog got in and ate it.
• I couldn't figure out whether I am the square of negative one or I am the square root of negative one.
• I took time out to snack on a doughnut and a cup of coffee, and then I spent the rest of the night trying to figure which one to dunk.
• I could have sworn I put the homework inside a Klein bottle, but this morning I couldn't find it.
Excuse to smoke
Two teens had been lovers for a few weeks, but the boy was
always after the girl to quit smoking. One afternoon, she lit up
after some love making, and he said, "You really ought to quit."
She, getting tired of his nagging, said, "I really enjoy a good
cigarette after sex."
He replied, "But they stunt your growth." She asked if he ever
smoked, and he replied that he had never.
Smiling and lifting her gaze to his groin, she said, "So, what's
your excuse then?"
True Love
Three men were drinking at a bar -- a doctor, an attorney
and a biker. As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said, "For
her birthday, I'm going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring.
This way, if she doesn't like the fur coat she will still love me
because she got a diamond ring."
As the attorney was drinking his martini he said, "For my wife's
birthday, I'm going to buy her a designer dress and a gold bracelet.
This way, if she doesn't like the dress she will still love me because
she got the gold bracelet."
As the biker was drinking his shots of whiskey he said, "I'm going to
buy my wife a T-shirt and a vibrator. This way, if she doesn't like
the T-shirt she can go fuck herself!"
A bored woman says to her husband
A bored woman says to her husband as she clasps her hands together,
"Guess what I have in here and you'll get some loving tonight."
The equally bored husband, wishing to avoid any kind of sex at all
replies, "An elephant".
The wife sez "That's close enough!"
Five Fingers
A beautiful young woman marries this seventy year old bloke for his money.
On their wedding night she joyfully jumps into bed and he holds up five
fingers.
"Oh darling!" she squeals with delight, Does that mean five times?"
"No", says the old fellow, "it means that you can pick one out."
A Purple Heart
A decorated war veteran, fresh off the bus, is looking for a place to
stay. He hears that room and board is available from the three old
spinsters at the edge of town, but is advised they are very picky in
letting strangers stay there. He decides to chance it, and limps on up to
the front door.
His knock is answered by Gladys. "What do you want, sonny?" she asks him.
"Ma'am, I'm just looking for a hot meal and a room for the night," he
answers.
The other two old spinsters gather around the door. "Who's out there?
Does he look decent?" they ask.
Gladys says, "It's a soldier, and he's got a Purple Heart on."
The other two spinsters giggle and say, "The hell with what color it is...
let him in!"
Poof! jokes
An old lady sits on her front porch, rocking away the last days of her long life, when all of a sudden, a fairy godmother appears and informs her that she will be granted three wishes.
"Well, now," says the old lady, "I guess I would like to be really rich."
*** POOF *** Her rocking chair turns to solid gold.
"And, gee, I guess I wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess."
*** POOF *** She turns into a beautiful young woman.
"Your third wish?" asks the fairy godmother. Just then the old woman's cat wanders across the porch in front of them. "Ooh - can you change him into a handsome prince?" she asks.
*** POOF ***
There before her stands a young man more handsome than anyone could possibly imagine. She stares at him, smitten. With a smile that makes her knees weak, he saunters across the porch and whispers in her ear, "Bet you're sorry you had me neutered."
