A WORLD – WIDE SURVEY

A Survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was………

“Would you please give your honest opinion about solution to the food shortage in the rest of the world?”

The Survey was a huge failure because……….

In Africa they didn’t know what “food” means.

In Eastern Europe they didn’t what the word “honest” means.

In Western Europe they didn’t know what “shortage” means.

In China they didn’t know what “opinion” means.

In the Middle East they didn’t know what “solution” means.

In South America they didn’t know what “please” means.

In the USA they didn’t know what “the rest of the world” means.

Have a Great Day!

A Survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was………

“Would you please give your honest opinion about solution to the food shortage in the rest of the world?”

The Survey was a huge failure because……….

In Africa they didn’t know what “food” means.

In Eastern Europe they didn’t what the word “honest” means.

In Western Europe they didn’t know what “shortage” means.

In China they didn’t know what “opinion” means.

In the Middle East they didn’t know what “solution” means.

In South America they didn’t know what “please” means.

In the USA they didn’t know what “the rest of the world” means.

Have a Great Day!

GOD IS ALWAYS WITH YOU

One night, I had a dream. I was walking along the beach with God and across the skies flashed scenes from my life. In each scene, I noticed two set of footprint in the sands, and to my surprise, I noticed that along the path of my life there was only one sets of footprint, and I noticed that it was the lowest and saddest time in my life. I asked God about it, “God you said once, I decided to follow you; you will walk with me all the way. However, I noticed that during the most troublesome time in my life, there was only one set of footprint. I do not understand why you left my side when I needed you most”. God said, “My precious child, I never left you during your time of trial. Where you see only one set of footprint, I was carrying you”.

The Nature Of the man

Man comes into this without his consent and leaves it against his will.

On earth, he is misjudged and misunderstood.

In infancy he is an angel, in boyhood, he is a devil, in manhood he is a fool.

If he has a wife and a Family, he is a champion. If he is a Bachelor, he is a bachelor, he is
Inhuman and mean.

If he enters a public house, he is Drunkard.

If he steps out, he is Temperate, Fanatic and Miser.

If he is Rich, he has all the luck in the world and he is a Crook.

If he has Brains, he is considered to be smart.

If he goes to Religious place he is a Hypocrite, if he stays away he is Sinful.

If he gives in Charity into the world, everyone wants to kiss him, before he goes out of
this world, every one wants to kick him.

If he dies Young, there was great Future for him.

If lives to a ripe Old Age every body hopes he has made a will capital.

It is therefore impossible to please everybody, so do your duty and be fearless.

Use your own common sense and if you make a mistake, its better than doing nothing.

So keep smiling as no one wants to hear about your troubles or better still, nobody wants
anything about your troubles.

True Love

Three men were drinking at a bar -- a doctor, an attorney
and a biker. As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said, "For
her birthday, I'm going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring.
This way, if she doesn't like the fur coat she will still love me
because she got a diamond ring."

As the attorney was drinking his martini he said, "For my wife's
birthday, I'm going to buy her a designer dress and a gold bracelet.
This way, if she doesn't like the dress she will still love me because
she got the gold bracelet."

As the biker was drinking his shots of whiskey he said, "I'm going to
buy my wife a T-shirt and a vibrator. This way, if she doesn't like
the T-shirt she can go fuck herself!"

A Purple Heart

A decorated war veteran, fresh off the bus, is looking for a place to
stay. He hears that room and board is available from the three old
spinsters at the edge of town, but is advised they are very picky in
letting strangers stay there. He decides to chance it, and limps on up to
the front door.

His knock is answered by Gladys. "What do you want, sonny?" she asks him.
"Ma'am, I'm just looking for a hot meal and a room for the night," he
answers.

The other two old spinsters gather around the door. "Who's out there?
Does he look decent?" they ask.

Gladys says, "It's a soldier, and he's got a Purple Heart on."

The other two spinsters giggle and say, "The hell with what color it is...
let him in!"